If I Were A Boy…

Like I’ve said before, I live with 4 other girls. We talk about everything. Literally everything. The good, the bad, the ugly, the gross, the delicious, the fun, the awkward, and particularly the sexual. One conversation we had was what we would do if we had penises. I took notes and the following list evolved:

  • spend 2 hours a day on the toilet
  • Work out and be a cocky asshole
  • Touch my penis all the time
  • Jack off all the time
  • We’d always have boners (how do guys not have boners more!?)
  • Grind up on a chick
  • Hump the air more
  • Funky pube shavings
  • Rub my penis on different surfaces
  • See how much it would shrink
  • Blue balls pain
  • Understand the taint
  • ask girls on dates
  • Get head – what does it really feel like?
  • See what the hype is with the doggie style view
  • Tuck it in my waistband
  • Try to pee without holding my penis
  • Go to the bathroom and try to understand how guy’s don’t look at each other’s penises
  • Take Viagra
  • Play football
  • See if different condoms feel different
  • Come to a conclusion on the argument of boxers vs. briefs vs. boxer briefs 

This note is a combination of five twenty-something minds, I have no doubt most of you are curious about the same things…


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