For most Jewish girls whether religious or not the synagogue plays a large part in their life. They are named there, confirmed there, and become an adult there. I guess I felt though that my bat mitzvah did not truly secure me into adulthood and instead felt I needed to do something else to really seal that deal. And yes, I mean truly seal the deal with penetration. I blame Elijah, Miriam and everyone else who attended or was supposed to attend this young professional seder because why blame myself for taking the haggadah seriously and drinking 4 large cups of wine without sparing a drop?
After taking the drinking seriously, I found myself a bit more tipsy than I had planned, which seemed to be my new theme these days. My guy friend who I had dragged to the seder and had already promised to see his house aka just go home with for a nice quickie suggested a wonderful idea. He texted me to meet him in the bridal room that was conveniently and inconveniently located right across from our lovely seder. Thankfully this room was locked. But of course a little bump in the road never stops me when I get an idea in mind. After a quick pit stop we managed to stumble upon the sanctuary of this lovely synagogue. A place both of us knew too well. As we entered the dark empty room it just seemed to click that this would be the perfect location for a nice quickie. It was dark, private and no one would bother us. As we stood next to the bimah, I let my friend enter me, I was full of excitement while he trembled at the thought of getting caught and only lasted a few minutes before exclaiming this was wrong and then proceeding to pull out. I attempted to reason with him but really had nothing to say. Of course this was not the end, oh no it was just the beginning.
Now I have never been one to let a job go unfinished and live by this policy. So we left our new seder friends and headed back to his place. As we drove from the metro to his house the alcohol took over again and I started to blow him while driving. He was a bit more conscious and parked the car so that we could properly go at it from the front seat to spice things up a bit. After finishing and driving back to his place, I believe God finally was angry, either at me for not forcing him to finish in shul or for the act of trying to have sex. And when God gets mad he gets even, in this instance it was with puke in the bed. Now this would have been one thing if we were dating but when you are in a friends with benefits situation this is not ok. So after waking up from the black out I did the only thing I thought was appropriate and screwed him hard, cleaned up my puke and promised one more good fuck before I left. I have to admit I really meant what I said because it truly was some good sex and made the situation a bit better.