Suit of Armor

I hate that I feel like I have to be guarded now. You can never again have that “Here is my entire heart” feeling once you’ve been hurt. You do it once and you learn. You learn you shouldn’t ever give your whole heart to someone. Once you’ve felt that hurt, that literally heart wrenching feeling, you put a suit of armor on it. My armor was starting to come off. And then the littlest TINIEST dumbest thing makes the armor snap on even tighter. Because why would I put myself through that again? But what if….what if…it works out. What if you get to feel that love, that lightness, that feeling of utter joy. Is it worth it? 

The greatest irony of life

The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you’re already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It’s just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. Here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.

What’s the one piece of advice you wish you’d been given in your mid-twenties?

Don’t worry about where or who you’re going to be in five years.  Like high school, you’re going to look back and wish you had done so many things differently.  Know that and do them differently now.  Focus on what’s in front on you.  Work on the relationship you have with yourself first.  Slow down.  Enjoy today.  It’s okay to not know.  Eat alone in restaurants.  Stop trying to prove something.  Seek growth instead of validation.  Shatter your veneer.  Be heard.  Draw boundaries.  Pull from your Solid Self as much as you can.  Sweat.  Process (get therapy).  Travel.  Don’t compartmentalize people.  Love fearlessly, even though you’ve been crushed before.  Practice gratitude.  Eat clean.  Toss your scale.  Pull yourself out of the victim position.  Exercise your forgiveness muscle (you will need this).  Don’t be concerned with what others think of you.  Step out of line and jump into life, yours.  Accept your story.  Don’t chase paper.  Seek truth.  Be patient.